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Which sign treats you like an adult?

We do not tolerate aggressive behavior or abuse from customers.

We will treat you with respect
and ask the same in return.

My name is Lewis and I believe signs should not treat adults like children, the way the first one does.

Rules should engage, not enrage.

If you’re an adult, you don’t deserve to be spoken to as a child.

Disrespectfully worded rules and signage only make this world a more confrontational place, not a welcoming or respectful one. If our goal is a safe and dignified environment, which of the two signs above is most likely to defuse tension?

Why are your rules yelling at me? A man scratches his head, confused, standing in front of a wall of dense legal text reading MUST, SHALL, PROHIBITED, NO EXCEPTIONS.

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Compare Before and After

Examples of disrespectful and respectful wording in rules.

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Free PDF: WHY ARE YOUR RULES YELLING AT ME? When rules treat adults like children.
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Heroes and Rogues

A gallery of both good and bad examples. Feel free to contribute a photo.

Before and after

Even the strictest rules can be worded to address people respectfully. Here are some examples.

ABSOLUTELY NO RETURNS PERMITTED WITHOUT THE ORIGINAL RECEIPT.

We are happy to accept returns when you provide the original receipt.

Returns accepted with the original receipt.

The before version assumes you might take unfair advantage. The after versions both assume good faith on your part.

EMPLOYEES MUST WASH THEIR HANDS BEFORE RETURNING TO WORK.

Remember to wash your hands.

Don’t forget to wash your hands.

Clean hands, clean heart.

The before version assumes that you would not comply in the absence of a requirement. The after versions all treat you like an adult.

To use our web site you must:
1) have cookies and Javascript enabled, and
2) use one of the following web browsers…

Our web site functions properly when you
1) have cookies and Javascript enabled, and
2) use one of the following web browsers…

The before version shifts the blame for problems in your direction: if the site doesn’t work, it’s your fault because you didn’t follow instructions. The after version acknowledges the need for cooperation between the website designer and the visitor.

This clinic believes that its employees deserve a safe work environment.

We do not tolerate aggressive behavior or abuse from patients.

This clinic believes that everyone deserves a safe environment.

We will treat you with respect and ask the same in return.

The before version is divisive, in contrast to the after version which is inclusive.

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